Exploring All of Me

It is the third week of the Strengthening our Foundation Course and we are doing some self-reflection on identifying the roles we play in our day-to-day life. This week has been impactful for me, as I have work to do on myself, especially with self-talk… so self-reflection is not my favorite thing to do. I have some things in my life that I am not proud of. Times that I certainly would take back. These pieces of me, are there, in the back of my mind making me who I am. There is so much more that I can focus on, as I found through this self-reflection.

We have been asked to envision ourselves in our daily roles. To put a name on specific roles and identify the behaviors attached to them. As I think about my reflection, I identified a few versions of me in various roles. The mother, the wife, the employee, the boss, the mover and shaker, and the opinionated girl who embraces adventure. 

Here we focus on three key states and identify the roles we use when we experience them. This is what I feel when I am in these states-

Anger

I am the ancient samurai warrior- Kat Lee – this bitch is tough. She goes for the jugular every time, as she is very good at protecting against loss and unhappiness. Kat Lee has been through hard experiences of loss and grief, but this has given her strength in experience having learned and grown from this. Kat Lee comes out when feelings of insecurity and sadness arrive.

Identifying Anger Alter Ego
Identifying Compassion

Compassion

There is the loving, empathetic mother whom I name Lorelai Gilmore. She is there for her people, her
friends, and her family. She is a great ear to talk to as she has compassion and perspective in our day-to-
day lives. She has been through many things, so she understands and can give empathy to those who
turn to her for help or conversation. Lorelai loves to come out when someone needs some extra
attention. Her specialty is really good hugs, especially to her daughters.

Courage

Then there is Wonder Woman. She stands tall, with a chest wide, and exudes confidence. Wonder Woman is there to push me off the cliff and encourage me to take risks because she knows that it will be okay.  There will be a reward- even if it takes some time.  She reminds me to be present and embrace the moment. 

Exploring Roles

Identifying my Desired State

After reflecting on these key states of being, we then looked at what our desired state would be.  Is it Kat Lee? Lorelai Gilmore? Wonder Woman? Perhaps a combination of all the bits and pieces. In my desired state I want to be proud of who I am. I do not want to be embarrassed about things I can not change. I want to have a sense of pride in what I can do. I am confident and my self-talk reflects that.

To be that person, I needed Kat Lee, Lorelai Gilmore, and Wonder Woman.  How do you embrace these roles without any shame or embarrassment? To be honest, I am not able to love all of me today, but I hope to someday. 

This self-reflection has not been easy- and writing about it makes me feel even more uncomfortable. But I want to be authentic and am leaning into this process. I am going to strengthen my foundation and I am not going to worry or put time into the bad self-talk.  BREATHE. 

I am excited to see what week 4 brings in this journey.